#PoeticJuncture : My Life - Bellah Poetry

For me, life is a struggle.
It's an impossible reality every single day.
I try to understand, try to unlock the secrets,
To unravel the mystery.
I search for meaning, for reasons behind it all,
But I keep on stumbling.
I keep on hitting brick walls.
It's like going in circles, running after something,
With no beginning at all.
But there must be a reason.

I can't precisely describe the way I usually feel,
But I know I'm not happy,
Yet I'm not exactly sad either.
I don't feel like I'm living,
But I don't feel dead either.
I pity my existence,
However, I choose to continue going.
It's like I'm caught in a jumble of emotions,
Enveloped in emptiness and confusion.

I've learned
Unexpressed emotions never die.
They may be buried alive,
But later
They will come forth in uglier ways.
So perhaps,
After so many years of successful domination
I've reached that point
Where all the suppression has broken loose.
It has all been unleashed,
Forced out in desperation,
Creating a storm of raging emotions.
And I am now left to deal
With an endless stream
Of unending excitement
So I stand on a mirror and here is my new melody
Breathe in the fresh air,
Put your mind at ease.
Let down your hair,
Let it flow in the breeze.
Let your eyes wander
To all the beauty to be seen.
If those toxic thoughts you still do ponder,
Then let out a scream.

Scream until the pain is gone,
Until you no longer feel afraid.
Open your eyes to a new dawn,
Let the darkness fade.

No longer compare yourself
Or your flaws to others' perfections.
Take the negativity off the shelf.
Focus on your direction.

Pick the sadness up off the floor,
Sweep it into the wind.
Close the door on self-hatred.
Never let it back in

Pay no attention to the toxic thoughts,
Listen to those who adore everything you are.
Overthinking was what you once were taught,
But now those thoughts you put in a jar.
Focus on your goals,
Never lose your fight.
It's time to open new scrolls.
Everything will be all alright!


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