#PoeticVibes : Scattered Pieces

Maybe the sleeping pills didn't work tonight
She is awake again
Stares at the clock..
It's not even midnight
The alarm goes on...
The clock it's tickling this time abit louder than usual
Or maybe it's because it's all silent.
So she gets disturbed because her sleep is disturbed
She wanted to keep off reality for a while
So here she is wide awake
Thoughts playing in her mind
Then the nightmare is back
It keeps haunting her
She cries this time sobs loud enough
To beat the noisy thumping heart
She feels weak
Every part of her torments her with aches
Maybe, someone could be here with her
But ain't she the girl too good at faking smiles with hopes that someone may see through her frowns what she holds
Ain't she the girl who talks and talks trying to create sense out of her usual nonsense
With hopes that someone will ask her to talk her heart out..
And maybe she will be able to scream and let the world know how deeply she has been hurtt..
Ain't she the girl who takes the stage and haves the audience snap...
Maybe she too could snap out of it
And smile as they did wherever they snapped..
Ain't she the girl who would type her messages full of the   LOL emojis but if you would be keen enough to see the tears falling on her keyboard maybe you would understand how pain changes
But gets clothed in the fake smiles you complements about her...
"You look cute..with the smile..."
They say..
She walks away with confidence..
Not because she believed she was beautiful but at least she was successful to hide from the whole world what lies deep within her
Because at least she didn't bother another soul
Because at least she got to keep sinking herself deeper in this put of loneliness and learn to understand herself
Then her mind goes back to him
And she cries more deeply this time with her feeble legs she staggers to the living room
Digs her hands in her bags and takes it out
She knew they will judge her if they found her holding it but that has now been her life
Her lips trembles yearning to suck the soothing smoke out of it
She lights the first match..but it goes off..
She lights the second..the third.. forth....keep counting.. untill can't remember the exact number..
Finally it's on..
She puffs it the second time and she now smiles
Yes she feels good
And with the seventh puff she is rolling on the floor laughing and dancing to the sound of the clocks.
She is mad,
They may say...
But he made her mad in love and walked away..
So she is mad in drugs it lights her way..
Maybe when the two meet she will neutralize and sober up in a way..
She thinks.

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