Kenyan songs that wasted our time in 2018





It has been a very smooth and eloquent year full of good vibes and entertaining music from our loved singers and rappers but as usual my savagery would not allow me to end the year without pointing out musicians who drained our energy with trash music that should never have seen the positive vibrations of 2018.






I would also not go ahead without acknowledging one musician who did a very excellent job and failed to get all his credits as deserved and that would be none other than KELECHI who is the only artist in Kenya who put in much work than any other artist in terms of consistency, good & quality music and branding. Kudos!

VERA SIDIKA – NALIA
Who would even think that Vera Sidika will one day waste time and money to record mediocre music in the name of being heartbroken? Well, she owns the money but we Kenyans still want our time back coz time is equivalent to money.
Nalia has already garnered up to 1 million YouTube views but sadly enough 10% of Kenyans can still sing along leave alone relate with it. I would advise her to stick to her beauty parlor and use this money to sponsor Otile Brown’s music career to the international platform.



WILLY PAUL – SIKIRETI

I love Pozee very much but not only do I love how he brands and carries himself around as a brand but also his music.
Being and international act, Pozee would never have released this particular track because no sooner had I listened to the introduction I felt like I was having a hearing impairment. How gullible and ill-mannered was Pozee to release a song twice as if he has already run out of ideas? Could you not get Cecile on a whole new song or you just have the thirst of doing collabos that turn to be trash.
Some songs need to be a secret for life!



MSUPA S – I DON’T CARE
Surprisingly all Msupa S songs sound like walking with friends who will always lie to you how they drink and still drive home safely. Suck that sh*#t!
This young lady needs not just one but two advisors on the effects of putting your money where your mouth is or else she will continue shaming the Kenyan music industry even in 2019


Please someone tell her to stick to her style in MEKWANE unless she wants to keep on being the laughing stock of the female rappers in Kenya



BAHATI – NDANI YA

Bahati is now becoming very irrelevant!
I would prefer the cry baby Bahati to the current Bahati who as long as Produza Paulo gives him a banger all he thinks is singing nonsense in the name of doing it for God.
For example, Ndani Ya is a very nice club banger but sasa uko ndani ya bakuli ama ndani ya nani? Neke!  Verses to the song carry a very nice message but since someone lied to our Kenyan musicians that catchy and sort choruses carry the day we decided to make the choruses short instead of making short choruses.
Stick to your Mama style or get your reality TV show as your full time job because we do not want you to keep wasting our time in 2019 deterring us from achieving Vision 2030 as a country.



KRISTOFF – 4U FEAT BWANANOMA & YVONNE DARCQ
Having given the biggest hit songs in 2018 including DundaingTippy Toe and Candy Bar we expected Kristoff to keep on investing on our time and engaging us till the end of 2018 until he stopped the fun and festive mood with one hell of a miss.
First of all, Yvonne Darcq should never have been on this track coz she is the number one reason this song became a flop.
Secondly we are tired of seeing Kristoff and Bwanangoma on the same tracks each and every time. One has to stop hanging on another’s coat because we have upto 45,000 budding artists in Kenya with much potential but lack exposure and mentoring and that is where we all need to gear towards.




KAPINYE – DNA
There are diss tracks and then there is ‘Kapinye’, released by rapper DNA in response to the veteran DJ Pinye.
However, when the track finally dropped, evens fans of DNA who were rooting for him to put Pinye in his place were disappointed as it emerged that the ‘Banjuka’ hitmaker had shot himself in the foot.
According to Netizens, the diss track titled ‘Kapinye’ is exactly the mediocre music DJ Pinye had been complaining about.



FEMI ONE – TEMBE
Once upon a time there used to be only one female rapper in Kenya who would be matched to other worldwide Hip-hop femcees but not anymore coz she opted to doing lazy music like Tembe and Zaga Zaga featuring Mejja.
We do not need club bangers with no meanings if we can go to the club and still dance to Kuliko Jana by Sautisol. Give us thrilling sounds like Tippy Toe and Luku Luku if you want keep on dishing out club bangers or else you just stick to your style in Jah Jah and save Kenyans the time and money.



KIM DANNY – DOLE
I knew Kim Danny through Mwafaka Awards when he won as the best new artist of the year and then later I came to be one of his biggest fans when he released his jam Niko Salama
The lad decided to run away from the kingdom of God to become a very whack secular singer releasing a sickening love song Dole. Don’t you think you are not only wasting Kenyans’ time but also your time?
Get back to God and give us more gospel songs worth our time young man.




WILLY PAUL – ALKAIDA
Willy Paul just can’t stop making trash music.
The controversial musician has dropped his new single titled Alkaida, a Swahili derivative of Al-Qaeda, a terrorist group founded by Osama bin Laden.
After the trash that was ‘Sikireti’ alongside Ce’Cile, the hitmaker jumped on a popular Bongo instrumental and made a complete mess of it.
The instrumental by producer Kimambo Beats features in songs by Nandy(Aibu) and Shetta(Hatufanani). This has seen Willy Paul come under fire for allegedly lacking originality.
This, in addition to the largely ignorant and insensitive song title in a supposed gospel song and the lack of any real musical content, is why ‘Alkaida’ is certified trash.



NONINI – MPAKA CHINI FEATURING PREZZO
There is nothing bad as leaving your wife unattended to for months then come back home and snore sleep but there is nothing worse than getting lost from the eyes of Kenyans for a whole year then coming back with trash music that ends up wasting their time and money.
Nonini you should stop calling yourself the Godfather of Genge if you can’t maintain the title as your counterpart Juacali has done all these years coz it is one thing to receive a crown and another one to maintain it.
What is even worse is you featuring Prezzo in a classic that you could have made alone and earn back your respect as the godfather. Get back to the drawing board and brighten our 2019.



VICTORIA KIMANI – NOT FOR SALE
There once used to be a Kenyan girl who broke all bonds of hate and disassociation by her people to make it against all odds in a land far away from home and that girl is Victoria Kimani.
Ever since she left Chocolate City record label to work as an independent artist she has really given us nothing to talk about except for the fact that she is now the face of an American cosmetic company and taking silly videos with Akothee in her coastal home.
Wonka was among the songs that did well out of her latest project Afropolitan EP and then came Not For Sale that was really a waste of resources that could have been used to feed unfortunate kids this Christmas.
Fire everyone in your team and hire focused and goal oriented personnel to propel your brand where it should be!



I would have continued to add the likes of Akothee and Timmy Tdat to this list but who does not get bored talking about whack things and their property.
Let us all focus on an entertaining 2019 full of godd music from Kenya!

No comments